That's the Ticket!

Instead of continuing my rant of earlier in the week, I'd like to accentuate the positive and talk a bit about how empowering pregnancy has been for me, despite all the negative crapola from some people trying to usurp my decision-making. Actually, it's so empowering to me, it's almost hard to believe all that other junk makes a difference (but it does, alas).

I know (really, I know) I complain a lot about pregnancy-related inflictions a la nausea, heartburn, cramps, etc. but in the silver-lining/feeling zen department: I have survived! Less than 3 months left and I will have successfully made AN ENTIRE PERSON! I can do ANYTHING! My body is an extraordinary machine that is crafty enough to make life! Wow! And once I give birth, I know I will really feel like a major superhero.



I would say "I feel sorry for women with a super smooth pregnancy who are not, second-by-second, alerted to what their body is truly capable of," but I think we all know that would be totally disingenuous. I am actually happy for them (though half-heartedly at moments), but I am also happy for me. And I am not even just saying this from the top of Olympus; I'm actually pretty nauseated right now, but look at me! I'm like Charlie Bucket's grandfather, except instead of touring the factory, I am a third trimester mom-to-be, ready for anything.

I never thought my life could be
Anything but catastrophe
But suddenly I begin to see
A bit of good luck for me

'Cause I've got a golden ticket
I've got a golden twinkle in my eye

I never had a chance to shine
Never a happy song to sing
But suddenly half the world is mine
What an amazing thing

'Cause I've got a golden ticket


Sure, taking the stairs at work is getting harder and harder and running: yeah, I don't do that. My back and feet ache, my joints need some TLC, I can't see my legs when I'm standing up, and my lower abdomen looks a little like a purple zebra, but by golly, I feel like these things are my trophies. They mark me as a person who kicks an extraordinary amount of ass, despite the fact that I am not sure I have much actual kicking ability at this time.

I also am pretty sure that in true Mama Bear fashion, present physical limitations notwithstanding, I would not hesitate to facepunch anyone or anything who I felt threatened my cub. RAWR! Max empowerment! I am now wondering if men felt the need to be the only ones who voted for so long because they realized they could not CREATE AND GIVE BIRTH TO PEOPLE. I am amazing. You are amazing.