I hate to jinx myself by telling y'all that the last few days I've been feeling quite a bit better, but I wanted you to know: I've been feeling quite a bit better. The evenings are still a little hard with headaches and nausea, but having gained back 3/4 of my day, I'll take it!
Except for the snow (the snow!), this weekend was one pick-me-up after the other and I think that contributed greatly to my well being. First, Chay made me the most delicious moon pies of all time. They are heavenly and encouraging me to drink more milk, which makes me feel great! Second, I am pretty sure I have whooped bronchitis. I still cough a few times a day, but everything else bad is gone and I have put the Nyquil back in the medicine box for keepsies. Third, in preparation for a weekend guest, I somehow mustered the energy to tidy up my house. Yay! Fourth, Anne drove a million hours out of her way to visit us on her spring break! Her charming company and good cooking was just the thing! Fifth, there is a vase of daffodils on my kitchen table smiling at me at every meal. :)
But let me tell you about my greatest relief of the weekend: the Stupak amendment. Yes, with the passage of healthcare reform Sunday night, America was treated to Rep. Bart Stupak's huge victory over the reformists by asking the president to re-affirm that public funding would not be used for abortion. Why am I, a pro-choicer, so relieved about this? Well I wasn't until I heard a woman categorize Stupak's maneuver as now guaranteeing that every woman in this country can carry her baby to full term if she wants to. THANK GOD!
Just think, in one fell swoop, Stupak has ended domestic violence and homicide against pregnant women (their #1 cause of death). In addition, he has turned the big kidnapper van of vigilantes out to thieve my baby from my womb right around. No longer will abortion be forced on me in my own home! THANK GOD! THANK GOD! I have been so worried about this.
Also, the Maw is back and dude, I need some Doritos STAT. Nom. Nom. Nom.
I know I promised pictures and I vow they are on the way THIS WEEK! The will of Stupak declares it must be so!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Same Song, Second Verse
Well, now that I think my twitter feed can't get an more graphic or disgusting, I thought I'd take a minute to give you all a junior update: I'm still nauseous! Alright! Go Team!
Not really. It feels awful and now that I am well into second trimester (16 weeks today! In another month, I'll be halfway!), I'm thinking: where is the light at the end of the tunnel I've heard so much about? It's coming; I know it's coming. I wish it would hurry.
To all my friends, I am sorry if it seems I've dropped off the face of the Earth. I really have mostly been laying in bed, although I play solitaire on iPhone a great deal.
In other fun news, my belly is really getting nice and big and people have started asking me when I'm due instead of just assuming I'm fat. +1! I'll post a pic here in the next few days. I'm glad I can still get around pretty easily though, so I'm not too huge. I do not eagerly anticipate my beached whale days.
But I'll take them sooner rather than later if it means I won't feel so darned SICK!
Another unusual change of pace: the Maw has really settled down. In fact, I'm hardly hungry at all anymore and sometimes I have to force myself to eat when I am feeling so, so nauseous. Emergen-C is my new BFF and I usually have two or three of those a day, so at least I'm getting *some* nutrition.
Mostly, I just want everyone to know that I'm alive, baby is doing great, and I'm hanging in there. My midwife appointment last week went great. I'm measuring just right for my gestational age, my blood pressure is right on target, and baby's heart rate is a racy, but normal, 152 bpm.
Let's hear it for health!
P.S. I didn't forget about the layette item pics! Some of y'all are used to Sonnie's excellent and timely photography, but I am way less reliable than she is. Stay tuned though; I won't forget!
Not really. It feels awful and now that I am well into second trimester (16 weeks today! In another month, I'll be halfway!), I'm thinking: where is the light at the end of the tunnel I've heard so much about? It's coming; I know it's coming. I wish it would hurry.
To all my friends, I am sorry if it seems I've dropped off the face of the Earth. I really have mostly been laying in bed, although I play solitaire on iPhone a great deal.
In other fun news, my belly is really getting nice and big and people have started asking me when I'm due instead of just assuming I'm fat. +1! I'll post a pic here in the next few days. I'm glad I can still get around pretty easily though, so I'm not too huge. I do not eagerly anticipate my beached whale days.
But I'll take them sooner rather than later if it means I won't feel so darned SICK!
Another unusual change of pace: the Maw has really settled down. In fact, I'm hardly hungry at all anymore and sometimes I have to force myself to eat when I am feeling so, so nauseous. Emergen-C is my new BFF and I usually have two or three of those a day, so at least I'm getting *some* nutrition.
Mostly, I just want everyone to know that I'm alive, baby is doing great, and I'm hanging in there. My midwife appointment last week went great. I'm measuring just right for my gestational age, my blood pressure is right on target, and baby's heart rate is a racy, but normal, 152 bpm.
Let's hear it for health!
P.S. I didn't forget about the layette item pics! Some of y'all are used to Sonnie's excellent and timely photography, but I am way less reliable than she is. Stay tuned though; I won't forget!
Friday, March 5, 2010
With This Life, This Death
Here's a little secret: pregnancy is not for the faint of heart. I was reading Week 14 of "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and I had to laugh when it said something like "Hey, nothing to this pregnancy stuff now, right? It should all be a breeze for you in second trimester." This was clearly written by an alien who was not pregnant with a human baby. I would certainly not classify the week I've had as breezy.
For those that don't know: I am blogging from NC where any minute now, we are hoping and praying my sister will go into labor. Really, we've been hoping and praying for this all week, but it's not like we've just been sitting here.
My sister's dog Ginger, a very beloved pet friend to me, was diagnosed last week with end-stage cancer that began in her liver and was rapidly spreading to her lungs.
I knew Ginger almost from the day my sister "accidentally" brought her home from the pound. She had gone to get her neighbor's roaming cat out of impound and was quite taken with the "male lab mix," who if 6 weeks old, was barely that. The "male lab mix" turned out to be Ginger, our beloved girl, and American Pit Bull Terrier to the stars. This pocket-sized pup went to grad school with my sister: in her purse! She used to rip up everything in her reach: books, shoes, it was all fair game. But she was always the sweetest, kindest, gentlest dog I ever knew. When I lived with my sister, Ginger and I went everywhere together. She even went with me to my therapist's office--no kidding. Louise didn't offer dog-bringing to all of her clients, but Ginger had a gentle way of making everyone adore her and by the end of most appointments, she was asleep on the couch next to me. Ginger also loved bubble baths and I am not kidding when I say she took one--with me!--nearly every single evening. It was my love for Ginger that inspired me to get Molly, though after meeting rambunctious Molly, I actually considered asking my sister if she might trade me for Ginger (!), though I knew she never would. All of this is to say, Ginger was my great friend. I love her so very dearly.
As you may know or have guessed by now, Ginger is no longer with us. When my mom and I arrived in NC Monday, Ginger was so very thin, but still managed to get on her hind legs and put her front paws on me in welcome. But she was fading fast. Wednesday night, my sister and I were with her around the clock as she began to struggle to breathe and could not seem to lie still, panting and eventually crying for pain meds. Thursday, we knew what we had to do, though the decision was excruciating. A wonderful veterinarian from Peaceful Passings came to my sister's house on Thursday afternoon, confirmed what we knew--that Ginger's body was shutting down--and we petted and held our girl as she crossed over. It was a very precious moment and I could see immediately when she had left her body.
Even though I no longer live with Ginger, it has been so strange that she isn't here. We are incredibly lonesome for her wonderful spirit and steadfast love and I keep expecting her every time I walk in the back door.
So we've had a hard week, but I wouldn't have missed it for the world. I needed to be with my sister and with Ginger, though it left us all so much worse for the wear. For the first time in my pregnancy, my nausea turned to vomiting and it wouldn't stop the whole day of Ginger's death. Between the crying and not being able to keep water down, I felt my heart was dying right along with Ginger. Even Baby Turner was mourning. On top of that, I now have a rattling cough, a sore throat, and well, I don't want to admit the rest to myself for fear I might actually be really sick. My sister, exhausted, stressed, and grieving, had long, strong contractions, but we are still waiting on baby's debut.
For now, we're optimistic baby will come tonight,but have decided to stay in NC through Sunday evening and leave Monday morning to return, instead of in the morning as originally planned. Please think good thoughts for us all as we celebrate the life of our dear Ginger and also prepare to welcome a new life to our family.
Love,
Mary, the Maw, and family
P.S. On a cheerier note, my mom and sister kick-started my layette with adorable sleep suits and onesies and a TON (maybe 24?) of brand new all-in-one cloth diapers in three sizes, a diaper pail liner, three wet sacks, cloth wipes, 2 dozen Indian pre-fold diapers, and more. Anyway, this is exciting stuff, so I will blog more about it when I am feeling cheerier and can post pics. Stay tuned!
For those that don't know: I am blogging from NC where any minute now, we are hoping and praying my sister will go into labor. Really, we've been hoping and praying for this all week, but it's not like we've just been sitting here.
My sister's dog Ginger, a very beloved pet friend to me, was diagnosed last week with end-stage cancer that began in her liver and was rapidly spreading to her lungs.
I knew Ginger almost from the day my sister "accidentally" brought her home from the pound. She had gone to get her neighbor's roaming cat out of impound and was quite taken with the "male lab mix," who if 6 weeks old, was barely that. The "male lab mix" turned out to be Ginger, our beloved girl, and American Pit Bull Terrier to the stars. This pocket-sized pup went to grad school with my sister: in her purse! She used to rip up everything in her reach: books, shoes, it was all fair game. But she was always the sweetest, kindest, gentlest dog I ever knew. When I lived with my sister, Ginger and I went everywhere together. She even went with me to my therapist's office--no kidding. Louise didn't offer dog-bringing to all of her clients, but Ginger had a gentle way of making everyone adore her and by the end of most appointments, she was asleep on the couch next to me. Ginger also loved bubble baths and I am not kidding when I say she took one--with me!--nearly every single evening. It was my love for Ginger that inspired me to get Molly, though after meeting rambunctious Molly, I actually considered asking my sister if she might trade me for Ginger (!), though I knew she never would. All of this is to say, Ginger was my great friend. I love her so very dearly.
As you may know or have guessed by now, Ginger is no longer with us. When my mom and I arrived in NC Monday, Ginger was so very thin, but still managed to get on her hind legs and put her front paws on me in welcome. But she was fading fast. Wednesday night, my sister and I were with her around the clock as she began to struggle to breathe and could not seem to lie still, panting and eventually crying for pain meds. Thursday, we knew what we had to do, though the decision was excruciating. A wonderful veterinarian from Peaceful Passings came to my sister's house on Thursday afternoon, confirmed what we knew--that Ginger's body was shutting down--and we petted and held our girl as she crossed over. It was a very precious moment and I could see immediately when she had left her body.
Even though I no longer live with Ginger, it has been so strange that she isn't here. We are incredibly lonesome for her wonderful spirit and steadfast love and I keep expecting her every time I walk in the back door.
So we've had a hard week, but I wouldn't have missed it for the world. I needed to be with my sister and with Ginger, though it left us all so much worse for the wear. For the first time in my pregnancy, my nausea turned to vomiting and it wouldn't stop the whole day of Ginger's death. Between the crying and not being able to keep water down, I felt my heart was dying right along with Ginger. Even Baby Turner was mourning. On top of that, I now have a rattling cough, a sore throat, and well, I don't want to admit the rest to myself for fear I might actually be really sick. My sister, exhausted, stressed, and grieving, had long, strong contractions, but we are still waiting on baby's debut.
For now, we're optimistic baby will come tonight,but have decided to stay in NC through Sunday evening and leave Monday morning to return, instead of in the morning as originally planned. Please think good thoughts for us all as we celebrate the life of our dear Ginger and also prepare to welcome a new life to our family.
Love,
Mary, the Maw, and family
P.S. On a cheerier note, my mom and sister kick-started my layette with adorable sleep suits and onesies and a TON (maybe 24?) of brand new all-in-one cloth diapers in three sizes, a diaper pail liner, three wet sacks, cloth wipes, 2 dozen Indian pre-fold diapers, and more. Anyway, this is exciting stuff, so I will blog more about it when I am feeling cheerier and can post pics. Stay tuned!
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
The Dream Theme
You know how when you get married and people you don't know ask you what your colors are going to be and you're like "wha?" That is how it is with babies and nurseries. "What is your nursery theme, lady-I-don't-know-who-appears-to-be-getting-fat?"
My nursery theme for right now is "I hope I can get some of the junk picked up in here before baby comes, but it's looking kind of unlikely now, 6 months out, because I am really tired." But I don't know--that's not that great of a theme. I guess I can do better. :) I mean, I did eventually come up with a theme of red and cream for our wedding. Kind of. A bunch of stuff ended up being red because Matt and I like it or white by default...so let's go with that.
I was poking around my amazon registry yesterday (this is not a hint or anything; that registry is basically my working to-do list at this point) and a sort of theme emerged: enchanted forest/forest friends. Yes, I like trees and rabbits and deer and squirrels and fantastic Mr. Foxes, and owls. So there's my theme. Ta-da!
Not bad for 6 months left, eh? I know. You're impressed. Now, this has been a lot of exertion, so I'm really going to need to lie down.
P.S. The whole happy schmappy post about nausea-free days and feeling energized? False alarm. I am back to pitying myself. Possible correlation to pitiable weather conditions? I think so.
My nursery theme for right now is "I hope I can get some of the junk picked up in here before baby comes, but it's looking kind of unlikely now, 6 months out, because I am really tired." But I don't know--that's not that great of a theme. I guess I can do better. :) I mean, I did eventually come up with a theme of red and cream for our wedding. Kind of. A bunch of stuff ended up being red because Matt and I like it or white by default...so let's go with that.
I was poking around my amazon registry yesterday (this is not a hint or anything; that registry is basically my working to-do list at this point) and a sort of theme emerged: enchanted forest/forest friends. Yes, I like trees and rabbits and deer and squirrels and fantastic Mr. Foxes, and owls. So there's my theme. Ta-da!
Not bad for 6 months left, eh? I know. You're impressed. Now, this has been a lot of exertion, so I'm really going to need to lie down.
P.S. The whole happy schmappy post about nausea-free days and feeling energized? False alarm. I am back to pitying myself. Possible correlation to pitiable weather conditions? I think so.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Round and Round I Go
How big is the Maw? Judge for yourself.
This photo was taken last Tuesday night at a huge Texas tourism dinner. (Yes, that is Texas First Lady Anita Perry wearing a garbage bag in the middle. Apparently, her huzz got all the good hair.)
I enjoyed peoples' puzzled faces as they attempted to determine if I was pregnant or simply had a very festive Christmas, but did not want to ask. (Little do they know it is both!)
Anyhow, the Maw is really growing in there and the day this picture was taken I noticed a total difference in the way my pajamas fit from the night before. That is to say: tighter, much tighter.
But the good news is I am but three days away from the second trimester, and I am already starting to feel like it. I still get a bit queasy in the evenings, but the days have been gloriously nausea-free, which has just been lovely and enabled me to eat some of my faves again. Sweets and cheese, I'm talking about you, my loves! Also, the weather has been getting warmer and even when it's cold, it seems bearably so. The sun is showing itself a lot more and my terrible humor is lifting. (Also! New bed coming on Monday! EEEE! Might even get up the energy to clean my house today!)
I'm always glad to see February fade into March, but never more than this year. Yay Spring!
 |
| From Blogger Pictures |
This photo was taken last Tuesday night at a huge Texas tourism dinner. (Yes, that is Texas First Lady Anita Perry wearing a garbage bag in the middle. Apparently, her huzz got all the good hair.)
I enjoyed peoples' puzzled faces as they attempted to determine if I was pregnant or simply had a very festive Christmas, but did not want to ask. (Little do they know it is both!)
Anyhow, the Maw is really growing in there and the day this picture was taken I noticed a total difference in the way my pajamas fit from the night before. That is to say: tighter, much tighter.
But the good news is I am but three days away from the second trimester, and I am already starting to feel like it. I still get a bit queasy in the evenings, but the days have been gloriously nausea-free, which has just been lovely and enabled me to eat some of my faves again. Sweets and cheese, I'm talking about you, my loves! Also, the weather has been getting warmer and even when it's cold, it seems bearably so. The sun is showing itself a lot more and my terrible humor is lifting. (Also! New bed coming on Monday! EEEE! Might even get up the energy to clean my house today!)
I'm always glad to see February fade into March, but never more than this year. Yay Spring!
Monday, February 15, 2010
A Care Provider That Cares
Sorry for my long absence, y'all. I was emotional. I was sick. I was tired. But I think things are on the upswing. Second trimester is a week and 2 days away. Whoop whoop!
I had my first prenatal appointment with my doc, or rather my doc's bullying minion, Friday, Feb 5 and to say it did not go well would be an understatement of epic proportion. No, I didn't get chased around with an X-Ray machine or sit in a tobacco-filled room of creepy dudes, but it was emotionally very charged. There were a lot of *surprise* diagnostic tests and procedures, little time for my questions or objections, and absolutely no respect or regard for my wishes to not simply be put on the conveyor belt that seems to be modern pregnancy.
Let me say right off that I do NOT judge anyone for having every test the doctor wants to give or she wants to take. I respect everyone's options and the fact that each woman should be able to say what is right for her and her pregnancy. By the same token, I would like being able to refuse certain procedures, to be respected, and to be treated like a thinking person who has feelings and fears, and like other women, wants what I perceive to be the very best care for me and my baby. At the very, very, very least, I would like to be informed when a procedure is being performed and if I have a question about it, I would not like a judging, bullying face with an expression that looks like they are about to report me to CPS to be the response.
So it didn't go well at the doctor and I spent the whole day and subsequent weekend crying and pondering my options. I made an appointment with a midwife in Tyler who WILL come to Nacogdoches to offer a home birth, but will also open up her birthing center to me, should I choose to have baby there.
I went to see her today and I love her! I am almost relieved I had such a terrible doctor's appointment because it made me seek her out. She gave me a hug. She supported me emotionally. She answered my questions in a non-judgey way and she reviewed all procedures, options, choices, etc., gave me information, and was just simply kind and caring without charging me a penny or obligating me to her in any way. Then after the consultation, she asked me if I wanted to hear baby's heartbeat. I did and I heard it! Baby even gave the Doppler a few healthy kicks to let us know s/he was active in there. It was so joyful and not at all like the Doppler assault I experienced at my doctor's office. I am so happy! I am so relieved! Matt is also happy and relieved that I am happy and he has even agreed to home birth, birth center birth, water birth--whatever I want. It feels great to be myself and have that decision supported. :)
I had my first prenatal appointment with my doc, or rather my doc's bullying minion, Friday, Feb 5 and to say it did not go well would be an understatement of epic proportion. No, I didn't get chased around with an X-Ray machine or sit in a tobacco-filled room of creepy dudes, but it was emotionally very charged. There were a lot of *surprise* diagnostic tests and procedures, little time for my questions or objections, and absolutely no respect or regard for my wishes to not simply be put on the conveyor belt that seems to be modern pregnancy.
Let me say right off that I do NOT judge anyone for having every test the doctor wants to give or she wants to take. I respect everyone's options and the fact that each woman should be able to say what is right for her and her pregnancy. By the same token, I would like being able to refuse certain procedures, to be respected, and to be treated like a thinking person who has feelings and fears, and like other women, wants what I perceive to be the very best care for me and my baby. At the very, very, very least, I would like to be informed when a procedure is being performed and if I have a question about it, I would not like a judging, bullying face with an expression that looks like they are about to report me to CPS to be the response.
So it didn't go well at the doctor and I spent the whole day and subsequent weekend crying and pondering my options. I made an appointment with a midwife in Tyler who WILL come to Nacogdoches to offer a home birth, but will also open up her birthing center to me, should I choose to have baby there.
I went to see her today and I love her! I am almost relieved I had such a terrible doctor's appointment because it made me seek her out. She gave me a hug. She supported me emotionally. She answered my questions in a non-judgey way and she reviewed all procedures, options, choices, etc., gave me information, and was just simply kind and caring without charging me a penny or obligating me to her in any way. Then after the consultation, she asked me if I wanted to hear baby's heartbeat. I did and I heard it! Baby even gave the Doppler a few healthy kicks to let us know s/he was active in there. It was so joyful and not at all like the Doppler assault I experienced at my doctor's office. I am so happy! I am so relieved! Matt is also happy and relieved that I am happy and he has even agreed to home birth, birth center birth, water birth--whatever I want. It feels great to be myself and have that decision supported. :)
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Solemn Vow
If I am ever pregnant again in the winter like this, I am going to take a tropical vacation. A long, sunny vacation where it is warm, where I will drink non-alcoholic coconut drinks and bask in the glowing rays of the ever-loving sun and forget that January and February are going on quite differently elsewhere.
Seasonal affective disorder? I think mine is terminal. The combination of nausea, exhaustion, and no sun + very, very cold biting weather (since October! longest, coldest winter in memory!) MIGHT kill me. March, where are you and will you promise to be good to me? If not, please send all future correspondence in care of the U.S. Virgin Islands.
Seasonal affective disorder? I think mine is terminal. The combination of nausea, exhaustion, and no sun + very, very cold biting weather (since October! longest, coldest winter in memory!) MIGHT kill me. March, where are you and will you promise to be good to me? If not, please send all future correspondence in care of the U.S. Virgin Islands.
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