Pregnancy Not Prevail!

I'm not sure how it happened, but I've become a pregnancy stereotype. In the mothering.com due date club forum I frequent, it seems like every time someone is complaining about some annoying side-effect of pregnancy, I am right there with them. Let's review.

• Nausea? You know it. (still.)
  
• Heartburn? Like fire!
  
• Leg cramps? Crippling at times and the crazy legs, too.
  
• "Pregnancy Brain", i.e. Losing Your Mind? Just ask anyone who...what was I saying?
  
• Peeing all night?If I flushed every time, Nacogdoches would be out of water.
  ...and now my own special contribution!
  
• Kidney stones! Ah yes, hello calcium overdose.
  

Actually, yesterday's kidney stone incident may not have even been a kidney stone. My doctor told me there wasn't any trace of it in my pee by the time I saw him, but it's possible that 1) it was very, very small--though it didn't feel like it-- and I had passed it already 2) Baby and my organs were pressing on my ureter and any small amount of sediment + pressure could have restricted urine flow causing the same pain.

Did I mentioned that I drink about 3 16oz. glasses of milk and take a gimongo calcium supplement every night before bed due to the aforementioned leg cramps and crazy legs? Yeah, so therein lies the problem. Do I keep taking the calcium and possibly continue to experience what feels akin to what I imagine a gunshot wound to the back does or do I skip it and not walk a couple days after a long night of cramps?

Or hey! How about I just keep feelings sorry for myself! Ha ha. But despite cursing my fate a few times yesterday and lamenting not catching a break, I think I am waving the victory flag. I am so happy to be on the other end of this thing, stone-free (although my doctor said a shift in baby or sleeping position may cause it again) and better still, owner of a small bottle of Tylenol with Codeine. I don't have to take it...but I like knowing I could.

Pregnancy, you can't beat me! I'm still walking around with the living and my son is going to be hard core awesome because I have literally put everything I have into making him.

The House of Tomorrow

Since I went on kind of a mini-tear about babies and gender this morning on my twitter, I thought I might as well comment in long-form on my blog. Are you all familiar with Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet? I was introduced to this marvelous work of poetry by my brother-in-law, who gave the book to my sister many years ago. Here is what Gibran has to say about children that beautifully articulates my philosophy, as well.

On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Before I knew I was having a boy, so many people (strangers, especially) implored me to find out so they could buy me the appropriately gendered items or comment about his or her future as an appropriately gender-specific thing. And this is perhaps the reason why I didn't want to know and once I did, wanted to hold my secret close. Admittedly, I did go a little cuckoo when I saw some little dinosaur shoes for my precious son, but maybe someday if I have a little girl, she will love to wear them, too. My point is: my son is not even here and already the world is trying to tell him who he can be and I don't like it! He can be anything! He is the sun and moon and stars to his mommy already, but his destiny is not written.

My reply to some people has raised more than a few eyebrows when I said I don't care if he is gay or transgender or Mr. Lumberjack like his dad. And I don't! But even if he is not going against the grain in such ways that are central to his identity, I want him to be free to do and see and think what he will, without the world prejudicing his views from the moment his eyes first can see. Is this a hopeless idealistic wish? It may be. But for my son, I wish for the world to be his and I will protect, with my life and my whole heart, that opportunity.

Boy Joy

You may know I was completely ambivalent about finding out the gender of baby originally. Though I was SO curious (and that curiosity ultimately won out, at Husby's urging), I felt like it would spoil one of the best surprises of life or it would somehow let strangers know me far too intimately. Once I did know, I felt mixed, not because I was wishing for a girl, but like I had ruined my own surprise party. I wrestled with the decision to even share the info once I knew (as you know). But now, after sitting with the news of my little boy for a couple of weeks, I am just so thrilled: a little boy! Wow! My son!

A few days ago, I was listening to Handel's Messiah (my favorite) in my car on the way back from Lufkin and when the chorus sang "Unto Us a Son Is Given" (re: the birth of Jesus Christ), giant tears of happiness rolled down my cheeks as I thought about my little treasure I had been entrusted with, that I am growing inside me. I briefly contemplated naming him "Wonderful" or "Counselor," but "the Mighty God" and "Prince of Peace" convinced me these choices might be over the top. :) Still though, you know *I* will think he is the best of all!

What thrills me, perhaps in equal measure, is that my son will have the most wonderful man I know as a father and role model. This is very comforting since I am unlikely to lose my job as Mayor of Bizardtown anytime soon, but thinking of my little baby son does make me want to be better in every way. I hope I will be a mom worthy of this special treasure.

Triumph Over Pregnant Enemy #1

Last Friday, at the conclusion of a period of seemingly endless optimism in which I kept saying "Oh no, this nausea will go away soon," I finally got an acupuncture treatment at a chiropractor's office in Lufkin.

YAY.

Actually, the evening following the treatment, I kind of felt the worst ever, but as the good doctor had told me I might, I was bracing myself. Imagine my delight when I woke up at 5 a.m. the next day bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and feeling like a human for the first time since December. It was a breakthrough! I wish I could say it's been constant sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows since then, but I've still had some stomach hugging moments. However, I've had a lot more good days than bad and the bad moments pass quickly. I'm also eating dinner again almost every night, which is truly a victory.

I have another "tune-up" with Dr. Roberts on Monday and I am hoping with continued treatments every couple weeks or so (not covered by insurance but which are mercifully highly affordable), I can banish my old frenemy once and for all.

I know you're all really wondering if Baby Turner is a boy or a girl and I am distracting you with some acu-tastic sleight of hand. Would you feel more enthusiastic about my triumph over nausea if I told you it will all be worth it to hold my little boy in September? Because I think it really will. :)

P.S. I know this is a public blog, but please keep Little Boy Turner out of the major news media outlets. I still feel a desperate secrecy about my treasure among bizards.

Baby Gifts Galore!

I apologize for the extreme delay in posting all of these photos after I have been teasing you with them for so long. Life is hard for the nauseated; what can I tell you?

The complete album is 14 pictures (and I will keep growing it as I get ready for baby!), but below are a few highlights.

It's definitely no secret that I am the world's worst photographer, but these should give you a general idea.

First, a sampling of the Rumpsters all-in-one diapers my sister gave me--28 in all in four colors and three sizes! AWESOME!



Second, me wearing a couple of different slings: the Maya wrap and the Karma Baby silk brocade one, both from my sister.



Third, Baby Boden cotton sleepsuits from my mom.



Fourth, baby's first book courtesy of Lady Jen.



Fifth, stylin' sneaker socks...courtesy of ME! Ha.



But I won't post all the photos. You'll have to visit the album to see all the great and generous presents for yourself! Thank you notes coming soon (sorry they are SO late in a number of cases), but interim shout-outs to: my sister, my mom, Lady Jen, and Chrissy. Baby is so lucky I know you and so am I!

Frick or Frack?

I am losing my mind trying to choose a car seat. No kidding. This is why I let Matt buy toothpaste; all these decisions stress me out. It's bad enough when we're talking about a little tartar control, but the safety of your child? Holy LORD. I mean, logically, I realize that some of this is just a total racket/mind job playing on parents' fears and guilt. You didn't choose the one with XYZ? Oh, your child will surely die in a fiery crash...

Even though most parents would like a definitive answer to: which one is the safest? There really isn't one. All seats have to pass the same rigorous government testing standards. That said: some do more. Some install more easily/fit better in certain cars. Some depend on if you want a convertible seat (faces both front and rear for all the newbs, out there) or if you want to buy a baby seat...and then a convertible seat (told you it was a mind job). And the most expensive is not necessarily the best.

Are you confused yet?

I have looked in various online forums and I even found a database that tells you which seat fits your car best. I kind of had to majorly LOL when some posts said that everything was tight in the Volvo S40 and I should consider another car. Oh yeah...let me just go do that.

I am to the point where I want to walk into a store blindfolded and just load one into the buggy.

That said, I have narrowed it down to the Britax Boulevard or Roundabout and the Sunshine Kids Radian XTSL (I am sure those letters are in the wrong order...whatevs). The Boulevard or the Roundabout are gigantopotomous and I think the Radian is super heavyopotomous. How often will I be moving this thing? Hopefully: never. I really like the Peg Perego Primo Viaggio (does that sound like a perfumed vagina to anyone else? Gross.) infant seat, but it's $250 and you have to switch to a regular seat after Baby reaches 22 lbs, or at about 6 months. Not a great value, unless like the super amazing Jo, you can get a loaner in great condition from a trusted friend for free! (Brilliant!).

I think I will just have to go to Babies R Us, where I hear they will let you try them out in your car or if you do buy one and it doesn't fit, you can return it easily. One thing's for sure though: I will have that seat securely installed well in advance of Baby's debut. I like to have killed myself attempting to install Lucie Jane's car seat for her unplanned ride home from the hospital in March. There was a label that said "Even if you think installing this seat seems simple, please follow instructions in the manual." Simple? I nearly gouged my own eyeballs out! And my sister told me that one was rated as being "easy to install."

And you want to know the best part? My mom had 5 kids and they hadn't even INVENTED baby seats until my sister was born. Even then she got whatever one was made by the car manufacturer. And we all lived! But I know, I know--I don't want to risk Baby dying in a fiery crash. But I really don't want to risk Baby having a totally insane mother. Might be too late for that, though...whoops. I will be very glad when the car seat is purchased and all I have to worry about is being a good and effective parent. Ha!

WHAMMY!

Long time, no see, right? I know. I know. I don't know what to tell you. I've had some...indigestion. I have more news coming soon, but I thought I'd show you a real Regretsy I found this morning on Etsy.



[Shudder.]

Nice how the mom's head is cut off because she is not important to the process. She is just a baby-carrying vessel. The important part is the BUMP! OMG! [eye roll]

Also: ultrasound picture is kind of creepy. Amend that: SUPER creepy! Look, it's cool to be excited about your ultrasound (I am excited about mine--more on that later), but let's be honest: to anyone who's not you, your baby kind of looks like a fuzzy alien. And maybe even to you, if we're really being honest.