The Laundry List Goes On

I have so much to be thankful for as I prepare to launch here with Baby T, yet before I gush about love and the stellar support of friends and family, I would just like to add a couple of items to my list of why pregnancy is not my most awesome way to be.

Stretch marks(galore)

Vertigo-go-go-goooo

The stretch mark problem is not just one of vanity. Sure, it may have started out that way, but that was in the small potatoes days of one...maybe 10 little vertical purple marks expanding out horizontally from my belly button. Now, my stretch marks have stretch marks. Most of them I can't even see (mercifully). This morning, I awoke to a burning (literally) desire to scratch the skin off this alien epidermis, discovering that I had yet another new one that kind of felt like a stab wound the size of the Grand Canyon healed over. I haven't drummed up the courage to look at it in the full-length mirror yet. I may never do this. It's like a paper cut you don't feel until you see it, and then it throbs. Only in this case, I already feel it quite as much as I am willing to. The only thing I can figure as I get more and more (and more!) stretch marks is that this baby and I are so anxious to meet one another, we're slowly dissolving the barrier between us through amazing claw action--he from the inside and me from the outside. The best part is when people who, if they've ever been pregnant (bless them), ask me if I'm using any cocoa butter on them. HAH! I am, of course--it's a small comfort to these angry crags--but you can hardly dig yourself out of an avalanche with a garden trowel. C'est la vie.

Vertigo: hello, I do not like you at all! Even after taking lukewarm showers, I now find that I have to lie down immediately to prevent falling over while I dry off. It's always the worst in the morning--by which I mean of course, until about 3 p.m.-- and I wonder if it's because I have been peeing out elements of my inner ear in the night. I don't that mean to sound as crass as it does; this is seriously something I'm questioning. I pee way more than I remember drinking (how could I drink the 8 glasses of fluid--at least!--I am parting with, nightly, in addition to all I part with in the day) and I am wondering if something essential is leaving each night that takes me all day to re-build up. This is bad though. Dizziness is very, very bad.

Okay, so now who wants to get pregnant? Raise your hand, but not all at once now! Hee hee. Well, we'll see who's jazzy when I am holding my little sweet one. I can't wait to say: what vertigo?