Round and Round I Go

How big is the Maw? Judge for yourself.

From Blogger Pictures

This photo was taken last Tuesday night at a huge Texas tourism dinner. (Yes, that is Texas First Lady Anita Perry wearing a garbage bag in the middle. Apparently, her huzz got all the good hair.)

I enjoyed peoples' puzzled faces as they attempted to determine if I was pregnant or simply had a very festive Christmas, but did not want to ask. (Little do they know it is both!)

Anyhow, the Maw is really growing in there and the day this picture was taken I noticed a total difference in the way my pajamas fit from the night before. That is to say: tighter, much tighter.

But the good news is I am but three days away from the second trimester, and I am already starting to feel like it. I still get a bit queasy in the evenings, but the days have been gloriously nausea-free, which has just been lovely and enabled me to eat some of my faves again. Sweets and cheese, I'm talking about you, my loves! Also, the weather has been getting warmer and even when it's cold, it seems bearably so. The sun is showing itself a lot more and my terrible humor is lifting. (Also! New bed coming on Monday! EEEE! Might even get up the energy to clean my house today!)

I'm always glad to see February fade into March, but never more than this year. Yay Spring!

A Care Provider That Cares

Sorry for my long absence, y'all. I was emotional. I was sick. I was tired. But I think things are on the upswing. Second trimester is a week and 2 days away. Whoop whoop!

I had my first prenatal appointment with my doc, or rather my doc's bullying minion, Friday, Feb 5 and to say it did not go well would be an understatement of epic proportion. No, I didn't get chased around with an X-Ray machine or sit in a tobacco-filled room of creepy dudes, but it was emotionally very charged. There were a lot of *surprise* diagnostic tests and procedures, little time for my questions or objections, and absolutely no respect or regard for my wishes to not simply be put on the conveyor belt that seems to be modern pregnancy.

Let me say right off that I do NOT judge anyone for having every test the doctor wants to give or she wants to take. I respect everyone's options and the fact that each woman should be able to say what is right for her and her pregnancy. By the same token, I would like being able to refuse certain procedures, to be respected, and to be treated like a thinking person who has feelings and fears, and like other women, wants what I perceive to be the very best care for me and my baby. At the very, very, very least, I would like to be informed when a procedure is being performed and if I have a question about it, I would not like a judging, bullying face with an expression that looks like they are about to report me to CPS to be the response.

So it didn't go well at the doctor and I spent the whole day and subsequent weekend crying and pondering my options. I made an appointment with a midwife in Tyler who WILL come to Nacogdoches to offer a home birth, but will also open up her birthing center to me, should I choose to have baby there.

I went to see her today and I love her! I am almost relieved I had such a terrible doctor's appointment because it made me seek her out. She gave me a hug. She supported me emotionally. She answered my questions in a non-judgey way and she reviewed all procedures, options, choices, etc., gave me information, and was just simply kind and caring without charging me a penny or obligating me to her in any way. Then after the consultation, she asked me if I wanted to hear baby's heartbeat. I did and I heard it! Baby even gave the Doppler a few healthy kicks to let us know s/he was active in there. It was so joyful and not at all like the Doppler assault I experienced at my doctor's office. I am so happy! I am so relieved! Matt is also happy and relieved that I am happy and he has even agreed to home birth, birth center birth, water birth--whatever I want. It feels great to be myself and have that decision supported. :)

Solemn Vow

If I am ever pregnant again in the winter like this, I am going to take a tropical vacation. A long, sunny vacation where it is warm, where I will drink non-alcoholic coconut drinks and bask in the glowing rays of the ever-loving sun and forget that January and February are going on quite differently elsewhere.

Seasonal affective disorder? I think mine is terminal. The combination of nausea, exhaustion, and no sun + very, very cold biting weather (since October! longest, coldest winter in memory!) MIGHT kill me. March, where are you and will you promise to be good to me? If not, please send all future correspondence in care of the U.S. Virgin Islands.

Hypnobabies is Hypnoawesome!

I mentioned hypnobabies a few posts back and wanted to just say a few words about it:

IT IS SO AWESOME!

First...what is it? Here is an explanation from Hypnobabies.com:

Hypno...babies??

Yes! These are babies whose parents choose to easily and naturally prepare for childbirth using the Hypnobabies method of Hypnotic Childbirth, which some might call "hypnobirthing". Hypnobabies however, is very different in that we teach real medical hypnosis techniques, creating an automatically peaceful, relaxing and more comfortable pregnancy, a calm confident Hypno-Dad, and an easier, fearless and often pain-free birthing for our Hypno-Mom.

Hypnobabies is a complete childbirth education course that also teaches Gerald Kein's famous Painless Childbirth techniques to Hypnobabies mothers so that they can enter hypnosis, deepen it themselves and remain mobile during labor, completely comfortable at all times. Most of our Hypno-babies have no drugs in their systems when they are born, and are able to nurse, breathe well and interact with their happy parents immediately.

Did you know?
There are people that have life-threatening allergies to anesthetics who successfully undergo medical and dental surgery with hypnosis as their only anesthesia! If hypnosis can create effective pain elimination for surgeries of all kinds, we know it can work for childbirth, and it does quite well. Your mind is much more powerful than you may realize, and right now you're using only 10% of it. You can easily tap into that gold mine and you'll be amazed at what you can do!

My sister introduced me to it, and also Lady Jo, as a way to create natural anesthesia during birth by meditating and going into a hypnotic trance. Jo reports excellent results!

Although I have not begun listening to the birthing tracks, I must report phenomenal results from the "Eliminate Nausea Now" track and the "Joyful Pregnancy Affirmations" track! Not only have they made my nausea SO. MUCH. BETTER. and a lot more infrequent and quicker to pass, it has also banished my headaches, cured my ubiquitous insomnia, and helped me to feel more positive in general about my body and about the development of baby and so on. I listen to these tracks on repeat for most of the night on my iPod and sleep so very soundly and peacefully! And my sister, who is just a month away from delivering and can hardly seem to get comfortable with herself at night is sleeping soundly through the night. Can't say enough great things! Yay HB!

So now when I constantly reference Hypnobabies, as I surely will, you will know what I am talking about.

Dream On

The wild dreams continue!

Last night I dreamed I spontaneously went into labor with some soft teething toys. They were so lumpy just right by my crotch and all of a sudden I had a contraction and there they were. I can't remember what they all looked like, but one was a squishy zebra with very long legs (disproportionately so) and a light blue bowtie.

At the time, I exclaimed how easy labor was and that delivering was a snap. (Easy to say when you're only delivering soft toys!) Although a bystanding doctor (of unknown name/origin) told me that meant I was fully prepared for real labor and that baby was coming very soon.

I hope by soon, he meant September. Baby has some cooking to do although wow--Baby is the size of a lime now and is swimming all about in my grapefruit-sized uterus, opening and closing his/her mouth and swallowing the amniotic fluid. :)

What Dreams May Come

I have heard reports before of pregnant women having wild dreams before, but I had no idea how wild until they began with such fanfare last night.

After waking up for my 3 a.m. snack of Greek yogurt, I decided to try to go it alone without Hypnobabies (more on this later) and try to sleep quiet, uncoached sleep. It was only moments before Molly was having seizures and going wild-eyed and foaming at the mouth all over our bed. I was so upset and Matt said he would call an emergency veterinarian in Crockett (about 1 hour's drive away), but I needed to put Molly in the car and take her there right away, even in the middle of the night.

When I arrived in Crockett, I called Matt to find out my next steps in finding this emergency vet and on the phone he said "Ah, I don't think it's that big of a deal. I didn't call her. Just don't worry about it."

"But I'm here," I said. "I drove all this way! Molly is still seizing."
"I don't know what to tell you," he said. "I am on hold with this GIS company, so I'll have to talk to you later."

I woke up FURIOUS! ENRAGED! I was so angry at Matt for abandoning me and Molly Tee in the middle of the night! In Crockett! While seizing!

So I decided to tell Matt about my dream and he said "Well, it's probably because you're worried about our eventual divorce." He was chopping a bowl full of onions and putting them in a saucer in front of me.

"What are you talking about? Why?"
"Well, I have this friend Michelle, in California," he continued. "She was pretty upset when I told her I was married. But I said 'Don't worry. Nothing lasts forever.'"
"What do you mean Matt?" I pleaded and began to cry. "Why are you chopping all these onions? Don't you love me?"
"Sure I love you," he said. "But we all move on."

Little did I know I was not telling Matt about my dream. I was having another dream! When I woke up for really real, I told real Matt about the dreams and did he coddle me and tell me everything was going to be alright? No, when I worried about my bad dreams aloud he taunted "Nothing lasts forever."

Real nice, husby. He told me also that if I wanted to keep him around and not have him calling Michelle (whoever she is), I better play my cards right. That old husby is a little devil! Don't call him in the middle of the night from Crockett if you need an emergency vet.

Let the wild rumpus begin!

Two Old Bizards Sittin' in a Tree

Last night, Matt and I were talking about names we like and don't like. The conversation came around to our own names and when I asked Matt about mine, he said he would not have married me if he didn't like my name. In total Full House/Stephanie Tanner style I thought "How rude!" But then I thought about it and realized if we were being honest, I definitely would not have married him if I didn't like his name either. I remember struggling with this issue with certain boyfriends and ultimately, I knew they were damned for it (among other things). So what does this mean? Matt and I are just two old bizards and we're really fine with it.